God won’t ask what kind of car you drove, but will ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.
God won’t ask the square footage of your house, but will ask how many people you welcomed into your home.
God won’t ask about the fancy clothes you had in your closet, but will ask how many of those clothes helped the needy.
God won’t ask about your social status, but will ask what kind of class you displayed.
God won’t ask how many material possessions you had, but will ask if they dictated your life.
God won’t ask what your highest salary was, but will ask if you compromised your character to obtain that salary.
God won’t ask how much overtime you worked, but will ask if you worked overtime for your family and loved ones.
God won’t ask how many promotions you received, but will ask how you promoted others.
God won’t ask what your job title was, but will ask if you reformed your job to the best of your ability.
God won’t ask what you did to help yourself, but will ask what you did to help others.
God won’t ask how many friends you had, but will ask how many people to whom you were a true friend.
God won’t ask what you did to protect your rights, but will ask what you did to protect the rights of others.
God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived, but will ask how you treated your neighbors.
God won’t ask about the color of your skin, but will ask about the content of your character.
God won’t ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but will ask how many times they didn’t
Thursday, April 29, 2010
It is
It's nice to know that you're secured with that someone. That even if the rain is pouring hard and the sky is almost dark, he'll never leave you just so you won't feel alone. Even if his friends had left him (and even if he has to be somewhere else) he'd still stay by your side, just so you won't feel alone.
It's so good to know that you have someone who'll be willing to help you cope up in every frustrations you're having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he'd be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.
It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.
It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.
It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.
It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.
It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rule in him just so happiness would take over you.
It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.
It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. That even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.
It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.
It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretentions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrased, but it won't matter coz it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.
It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love have scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.
It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.
... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.
I am waiting for this person to enter in my life and make me feel the same, may be someday he would fix my heart unselfishly and it would again be filled up with loads of love and that feeling of being blessed. :)
It's so good to know that you have someone who'll be willing to help you cope up in every frustrations you're having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he'd be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.
It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.
It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.
It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.
It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.
It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rule in him just so happiness would take over you.
It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.
It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. That even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.
It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.
It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretentions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrased, but it won't matter coz it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.
It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love have scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.
It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.
... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.
I am waiting for this person to enter in my life and make me feel the same, may be someday he would fix my heart unselfishly and it would again be filled up with loads of love and that feeling of being blessed. :)
Saturday, March 27, 2010
The Sands of Forgiveness
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"
The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"
The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE
Rain Washed
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked.
"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain."
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"
"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories... So, don't forget to make time and take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I hope you still take the time to run through the rain.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked.
"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain."
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"
"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories... So, don't forget to make time and take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I hope you still take the time to run through the rain.
My Resignation
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight-year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four-star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
All you knew was to be happy, because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simply again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive when there are more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, mankind and making angels in the snow.
I want to play with my pets and my days of imagination to last forever
So here are my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401(k) statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first because,"Tag! You're it!"
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four-star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
All you knew was to be happy, because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simply again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive when there are more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, mankind and making angels in the snow.
I want to play with my pets and my days of imagination to last forever
So here are my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401(k) statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first because,"Tag! You're it!"
Thursday, January 7, 2010
One bedroom flat
As the dream of almost every parent, ‘Chandan’ acquired a degree in Software Engineer and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When he arrived in USA, it was as if a dream had come true for him.
Here at last he was in a place where he always wanted to be. He decided that he would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time he would earn enough money to settle down in India.
His father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.
He wanted to do some thing more than him. But sooner he started feeling homesickness and lonely as the time passed. After 2 years, he decided to get married. Told his parents that he has only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all his friends back home. If he miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home he did spent one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter he was forced to select one candidate.
In-laws told him, to his surprise, that he would have to get married in 2-3 days only, as he will not get anymore holidays in near future to come back to the country again. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to his parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, he returned to USA.
His wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling his home country increased twice in a week, sometimes 3 times a week. His savings started diminishing. After two more years they started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to them by the Almighty. Every time he spoke to his parents, they asked him to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.
Every year they decided to visit their country. But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting their own home was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day he got a message that his parents were seriously sick. He tried his hard but he couldn’t get any holidays and thus could not visit his parents. The next message he got was his parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights, the society members had done whatever they could do. He was extremely depressed. His parents had passed away without seeing their grand children — Aah …!
After couple more years passed away, much to his children’s dislike and his wife’s joy they returned to their country to settle down. He started to look for a suitable property, but to his dismay his savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. He had to return to the USA.
His wife refused to come back with him and his children refused to stay in their father’s home country. His 2 children and he returned back to USA after promising his wife that he would be coming back for good after two years.
Time passed by, his daughter decided to get married to a citizen in USA and his son was happy living in USA only. He decided that had enough now and will wound-up every thing and will return to his own country. He had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.
Now he is 60 years old and the only time he goes out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. His faithful wife has also left him and gone to the holy abode.
Sometimes he wondered was it worth all this? His father, even after staying in their home country, had a house to his name and he too have the same as of now, nothing more than that.
He lost his parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.
Looking out from the window he sees a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled the new generation and the children are losing their values and culture because of it. He get occasional cards from his children asking if he is alright.
Now perhaps after he will die, it will be the neighbors again who will be performing his last rights, God Bless them! But the question still remains the same – ‘was all this worth just for an extra bedroom flat finally?’
He is still searching for an answer…………….!!!!
Here at last he was in a place where he always wanted to be. He decided that he would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time he would earn enough money to settle down in India.
His father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.
He wanted to do some thing more than him. But sooner he started feeling homesickness and lonely as the time passed. After 2 years, he decided to get married. Told his parents that he has only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all his friends back home. If he miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home he did spent one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter he was forced to select one candidate.
In-laws told him, to his surprise, that he would have to get married in 2-3 days only, as he will not get anymore holidays in near future to come back to the country again. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to his parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, he returned to USA.
His wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling his home country increased twice in a week, sometimes 3 times a week. His savings started diminishing. After two more years they started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to them by the Almighty. Every time he spoke to his parents, they asked him to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.
Every year they decided to visit their country. But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting their own home was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day he got a message that his parents were seriously sick. He tried his hard but he couldn’t get any holidays and thus could not visit his parents. The next message he got was his parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights, the society members had done whatever they could do. He was extremely depressed. His parents had passed away without seeing their grand children — Aah …!
After couple more years passed away, much to his children’s dislike and his wife’s joy they returned to their country to settle down. He started to look for a suitable property, but to his dismay his savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. He had to return to the USA.
His wife refused to come back with him and his children refused to stay in their father’s home country. His 2 children and he returned back to USA after promising his wife that he would be coming back for good after two years.
Time passed by, his daughter decided to get married to a citizen in USA and his son was happy living in USA only. He decided that had enough now and will wound-up every thing and will return to his own country. He had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.
Now he is 60 years old and the only time he goes out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. His faithful wife has also left him and gone to the holy abode.
Sometimes he wondered was it worth all this? His father, even after staying in their home country, had a house to his name and he too have the same as of now, nothing more than that.
He lost his parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.
Looking out from the window he sees a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled the new generation and the children are losing their values and culture because of it. He get occasional cards from his children asking if he is alright.
Now perhaps after he will die, it will be the neighbors again who will be performing his last rights, God Bless them! But the question still remains the same – ‘was all this worth just for an extra bedroom flat finally?’
He is still searching for an answer…………….!!!!
I have learned…
I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.
I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.
I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.
I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.
I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.
I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.
I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.
I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.
I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Monday, January 4, 2010
How Rich Are We?
One day a father and his rich family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night on the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "Very good Dad!" "Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked. "Yeah!" "And what did you learn?"
The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard; they have a whole horizon." When the little boy was finished, his father was speechless. His son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how 'poor' we are!"
Isn't it true that it all depends on the way you look at things? If you have love, friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude towards life -- you've got everything! You can't buy any of these things. You may have all the material possessions you can imagine, provisions for the future, etc.; but if you are poor of spirit, you have nothing!
The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard; they have a whole horizon." When the little boy was finished, his father was speechless. His son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how 'poor' we are!"
Isn't it true that it all depends on the way you look at things? If you have love, friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude towards life -- you've got everything! You can't buy any of these things. You may have all the material possessions you can imagine, provisions for the future, etc.; but if you are poor of spirit, you have nothing!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Power of One
One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.
One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.
One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room.
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.
One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.
One voice can speak with wisdom.
One heart can know what's true.
One life can make the difference,
you see it's up to You!
Don't ever forget how very Important You Are
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.
One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.
One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room.
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.
One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.
One voice can speak with wisdom.
One heart can know what's true.
One life can make the difference,
you see it's up to You!
Don't ever forget how very Important You Are
Just for today
Just for today I will be happy.
This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that "most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Happiness is from within, it is not a matter of externals.
Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.
I will take my family, my business and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.
Just for today I will take care of my body.
I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will I will exercise my soul in three ways.
I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don't want to do
Just for today I will be agreeable.
I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, not find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.
Just for today I will try to live through this day only.
Not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hourse that would appal me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will have a program.
I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests, hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax.
In this half-hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid.
Especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.
This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that "most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Happiness is from within, it is not a matter of externals.
Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.
I will take my family, my business and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.
Just for today I will take care of my body.
I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will I will exercise my soul in three ways.
I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don't want to do
Just for today I will be agreeable.
I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, not find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.
Just for today I will try to live through this day only.
Not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hourse that would appal me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will have a program.
I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests, hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax.
In this half-hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid.
Especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.
Prayer
Prayer is to be in God's presence with open hands and an open heart.
There are many things in my life to which I cling as with a clinched fist -- my possessions for sure, but the immaterial things as well -- the work I do, the position I hold, the friends I have, my ideas, my principles, my image. If I should open my fist, they still remain. Nothing drops out. But my hands are open. And that is what prayer is.
After a while, if I am willing to remain long enough with my open hands, the Lord will come. He will have a look and roam through my hands to see what I have. He may be surprised -- so many things ! Then He will look at me and ask:
Would you mind if I take out this little bit?' And I answer, 'Of course you may take it out. That's why I am here with open hands.'
And perhaps the Lord will look another time and ask: 'Would you mind if I put something else in your hands ?' And I answer: 'Of course you may.'
That is the heart of prayer. The Lord may take something out, and He may put something in. No one else can do this, but He may."
There are many things in my life to which I cling as with a clinched fist -- my possessions for sure, but the immaterial things as well -- the work I do, the position I hold, the friends I have, my ideas, my principles, my image. If I should open my fist, they still remain. Nothing drops out. But my hands are open. And that is what prayer is.
After a while, if I am willing to remain long enough with my open hands, the Lord will come. He will have a look and roam through my hands to see what I have. He may be surprised -- so many things ! Then He will look at me and ask:
Would you mind if I take out this little bit?' And I answer, 'Of course you may take it out. That's why I am here with open hands.'
And perhaps the Lord will look another time and ask: 'Would you mind if I put something else in your hands ?' And I answer: 'Of course you may.'
That is the heart of prayer. The Lord may take something out, and He may put something in. No one else can do this, but He may."
Attitude Determines Attitude
I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important.
My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.
Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.
Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.
Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.
Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.
Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.
Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.
Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.
Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.
Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.
Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.
What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!
My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.
Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.
Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.
Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.
Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.
Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.
Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.
Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.
Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.
Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.
Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.
What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!
The Best Day of My Life
Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever!
There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did I'm going to celebrate!
Today, I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.
I will go through this day with my head held high, and a happy heart. I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts: the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds. Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice.
Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I'll make someone smile. I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know. Today, I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I'll tell a child how special he is, and I'll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for her and how much she means to me.
Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don't have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things God has already given me. I'll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in God and his Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine.
And tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside and raise my eyes to the heavens. I will stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon, and I will praise God for these magnificent treasures.
As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, I will thank the Almighty for the best day of my life. And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life, ever!
There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today; but I did! And because I did I'm going to celebrate!
Today, I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.
I will go through this day with my head held high, and a happy heart. I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts: the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds. Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice.
Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I'll make someone smile. I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know. Today, I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I'll tell a child how special he is, and I'll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for her and how much she means to me.
Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don't have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things God has already given me. I'll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in God and his Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine.
And tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside and raise my eyes to the heavens. I will stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon, and I will praise God for these magnificent treasures.
As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, I will thank the Almighty for the best day of my life. And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life, ever!
Friday, January 1, 2010
20 New Management Styles
1)MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THEN THE EMPLOYEES
These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.
2)MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW
These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.
3)MANAGING BY POST-IT'S
Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking.
4)MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY
These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He is good, He knows what she must do.
5)MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.
6)MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING
These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about.
7)MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION
Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of simulants from category 5!
8)MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS
These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more work to do.
9)MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS
In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.
10)MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS
If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.
11)MANAGING BY STUDYING
Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice.
12)MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS
Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows,boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.
13)MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM
This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.
14)MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS
This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.
15)MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE
In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.
16)BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING ABBREVIATIONS )
This management style is ATRASACWOC. ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication )
17)MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.
18)MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.
19)MANAGING BY BELIEVING
These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues at all.
20)MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES
If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of that promise is to low to remember.
These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.
2)MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW
These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.
3)MANAGING BY POST-IT'S
Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking.
4)MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY
These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He is good, He knows what she must do.
5)MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.
6)MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING
These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about.
7)MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION
Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of simulants from category 5!
8)MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS
These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more work to do.
9)MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS
In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.
10)MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS
If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.
11)MANAGING BY STUDYING
Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice.
12)MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS
Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows,boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.
13)MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM
This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.
14)MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS
This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.
15)MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE
In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.
16)BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING ABBREVIATIONS )
This management style is ATRASACWOC. ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication )
17)MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.
18)MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.
19)MANAGING BY BELIEVING
These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues at all.
20)MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES
If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of that promise is to low to remember.
Happiness
For a good part of my life I suffered from a disease. This disease dampened my spirits, drained me of my energy, and robbed me of my vitality. Sometimes it even made it hard to get out of bed in the morning. It made every part of my life more difficult and demanding. For a while too it looked like this disease would be a weight I would have to carry for the rest of my life. This disease was called, "And then I’ll be happy."
I think I first caught it in middle school. During my younger years I seemed to always enjoy the moment and relish each day of my life. At some point during those middle school years, however, I remember starting to look to the future more and more and enjoying today less and less. At first I thought getting into high school and being a teenager would make me happy. Then the dream switched to getting good marks to enter field of my choice. That was followed by being on my own in college. Next came having a great career and high paying job. Then was coming onsite and earning big bucks and still new dreams are standing which states at the end "And then I'll be happy". Each dream postponed my happiness a little further down the road. Finally I realized that if I kept going this way, I would be dead before I was happy.
That is when I came to see that it would be a lot better to be happy now than to live with this disease. Life I knew would always have fresh problems and frustrations, but I thought it would be a lot better to meet them with a happy heart and loving soul rather than waiting for life to be perfect. These days I am in remission. I still have occasional flare ups of "And then I’ll be happy," but I heal them by knowing that I can choose love and joy every second of my life.
God loves us all so much and wants us to be happy today, tomorrow, and forever. Let’s not let Him down. Let’s choose love, share joy, and spread happiness with every moment we have.
I think I first caught it in middle school. During my younger years I seemed to always enjoy the moment and relish each day of my life. At some point during those middle school years, however, I remember starting to look to the future more and more and enjoying today less and less. At first I thought getting into high school and being a teenager would make me happy. Then the dream switched to getting good marks to enter field of my choice. That was followed by being on my own in college. Next came having a great career and high paying job. Then was coming onsite and earning big bucks and still new dreams are standing which states at the end "And then I'll be happy". Each dream postponed my happiness a little further down the road. Finally I realized that if I kept going this way, I would be dead before I was happy.
That is when I came to see that it would be a lot better to be happy now than to live with this disease. Life I knew would always have fresh problems and frustrations, but I thought it would be a lot better to meet them with a happy heart and loving soul rather than waiting for life to be perfect. These days I am in remission. I still have occasional flare ups of "And then I’ll be happy," but I heal them by knowing that I can choose love and joy every second of my life.
God loves us all so much and wants us to be happy today, tomorrow, and forever. Let’s not let Him down. Let’s choose love, share joy, and spread happiness with every moment we have.
Let Go Of Your Grudges
As we approach the New Year it's a good time to clean out the clutter in our lives. That means disposing of useless papers and unused stuff but also throwing away old grudges.
The prevalence and durability of grudges proves Maya Angelou's observation that people don't always remember what you said or did, but they do remember how you made them feel.
Grudges are nothing more than toxic memories of how someone made us feel.
But Confucius taught that "To be wronged is nothing unless we continue to remember it." So why do so many of us choose to consciously preserve and revisit toxic feelings that detract from our happiness?
Perhaps we fool ourselves into thinking we can inflict some sort of pain on the person who wronged us. In fact, holding on to a grudge is like holding on to a hot stone. It doesn't hurt the stone or the person who gave it to us; it only hurts the one holding it. Carrying a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
It doesn't matter how justified the bitter feelings are or how right we are. Holding on to a grievance turns pain into suffering. In a peculiar way it empowers the wrongdoer to hurt us again and again.
So start out this New Year by giving yourself a great gift. Muster the good sense and strength to root out and release deep-seated and long-held resentments.
If you can, forgive and forget. But all that's really necessary is a firm decision to let go of your grudges so you can move forward and free yourself of the chains of resentment.
The prevalence and durability of grudges proves Maya Angelou's observation that people don't always remember what you said or did, but they do remember how you made them feel.
Grudges are nothing more than toxic memories of how someone made us feel.
But Confucius taught that "To be wronged is nothing unless we continue to remember it." So why do so many of us choose to consciously preserve and revisit toxic feelings that detract from our happiness?
Perhaps we fool ourselves into thinking we can inflict some sort of pain on the person who wronged us. In fact, holding on to a grudge is like holding on to a hot stone. It doesn't hurt the stone or the person who gave it to us; it only hurts the one holding it. Carrying a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
It doesn't matter how justified the bitter feelings are or how right we are. Holding on to a grievance turns pain into suffering. In a peculiar way it empowers the wrongdoer to hurt us again and again.
So start out this New Year by giving yourself a great gift. Muster the good sense and strength to root out and release deep-seated and long-held resentments.
If you can, forgive and forget. But all that's really necessary is a firm decision to let go of your grudges so you can move forward and free yourself of the chains of resentment.
Change your perception
Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he was back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful, because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and the road that he went through was very rough and stony. He then ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with leather. Definitely, this would need thousands of cows' skin, and would cost a huge amount of money.
Then one of his wise servant dared himself to tell the king, "Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money ? Why don't you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet ?"
The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a "shoe" for himself.
There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story : to make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself - your heart; and not the world.
Then one of his wise servant dared himself to tell the king, "Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money ? Why don't you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet ?"
The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a "shoe" for himself.
There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story : to make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself - your heart; and not the world.
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